You can't always get what you want

While I was trying to sleep last night I couldn't stop thinking about a song that most of you probably know. It's called "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by Rolling Stones. The lyrics always come to my mind when things don't go as planned and I keep wondering why, why, why, why on earth, whhhhhyyyyy???? One of my best friends always says the word she hates the most is WHY. I agree. Mostly because when it comes to important stuff the answer is so hard to find. I had a rough couple of days last week. Days when you just keep asking yourself the worst questions ever... Why doesn't it work between us? Why does it have to be so complicated? Why do I have to live here? Why don't I have a job already? Why didn't I study this or why did I do this like that? Like I said, why, why, why...


So in these situations I console myself with the chorus of the song which says:

"You can't always get what you want...You can't always get what you want...

But if you try sometimes, you just might find...you just might find...you get what you need..."

So I wonder... What DO I need if the thing I want is not what I need?? See, you can do this in circles all day long. 

There was a couple I knew. Sam and Jane. They broke up and Sam was very lonely. He wasn't used to being alone and all he kept thinking was how to get back together with her. But Jane didn't want him back. He (like me) kept thinking: "Why, why, why won't she get back together with me if it was soo perfect? It's all I want!" Well, the thing is Sam was asking the wrong question. It didn't work out between them. What he wanted was  things to be "normal" again so he didn't have to feel what he was feeling, which was loss, anger, sadness. But what he needed was to move on with his life. He needed time, of course, but also a god perspective on what to do next. He had to think of another plan. He had to make a change in his mind. I mean, just yesterday he was sure he was going to spend his life with this girl and the next day everything he planned was ruined. It's tough but that's how life gets sometimes. When you least expect it something is going to hit you from somewhere. 

It's hard to find answers to questions like this one... First of all, you have to think. And sometimes we just don't feel like thinking about what went wrong because it hurts too much. A lot of times we have to remember things or people that we REALLY want to forget. People that hurt us or things that made us sad or ashamed. But the reward is that we are getting to know ourselves better and we become wiser.

You see, Sam got what he wanted. And what happened was something I call a "Fix you" situation. 

Here are the lyrics:

"When you try your best but you don't succeed...

 When you get what you want but not what you need...

 When you feel so tired but you can't sleep...

 stuck in reverse...."

He had gotten back together with Jane (don't ask me how) and he definitely got what he wanted - his whole life back. All his plans restored. But was he truly happy knowing that Jane never loved him as much as he loved her and that she was staying with him just to please him? 

Sam learned that it didn't make him feel any better having Jane back. It wasn't what he needed even tough he wanted it badly. Aaaand that's why things in life happen for a reason. To teach us a lesson.

Most of the time we don't realise the difference between need and want right away but it takes time for things to sink in. Have you never looked back and said to yourself "Aaaa, now I get it. I understand that xyz had to happen so I can be where I am now."?

Be careful what you want. Sometimes it's not what you need.

Goodbye world.